Mysteries of the Universe, Part Three

Some of you may have heard already that Mr. Six, beloved dancing octogenarian television personality, will no longer be with us. Did he pass away? No, it's worse than that. Daniel Snyder, the owner of the Washington Redskins, got together with a couple of his cronies and convinced the Six Flags shareholders to give Kieran Burke the boot. One of Snyder's first acts as CEO of the theme park chain was to announce the termination of the Mr. Six advertising campaign, calling the character "pointless".

Now, I can't really paint myself as a Mr. Six fan. But I know that there are many who will feel more than the marginal tinge of loss I'm experiencing because of this decision. I also know that, ten or fifteen years from now, if the internet still exists, teen geeks will erect at least one Geocities website dedicated to his grossly myopic face and smooth dance moves.

While Mr. Six will no longer grace (if that is the word) our television sets this coming summer, the question of his identity remains. I'm glad I didn't raise a cry of "Hats off, gentlemen!" when I sung the praises of Wikipedia in the last post, because I would now have to ask you to kindly put them back on. Wikipedia is (yet) unable to reveal the identity of Mr. Six. And Google searches seem to only bring up forums where people repeatedly guess that Steve Urkel (Jaleel White, from Family Matters) is behind the bald cap and oversized Hollywood glasses. I personally don't think it's any known celebrity. We probably would have found it out sooner if it were, and celebrities sell stuff well enough as themselves. I'm not sure if it's male or female, and it really doesn't matter in the long run. If the man (or woman) behind Mr. Six ever were revealed, I think we would all be disappointed. It's probably just a relative nobody who could dance, and got the part primarily on that basis. To me, the character of Mr. Six is far more intriguing if you can't put a name to him. Mysteries demand higher amounts of thinking and focus. Six Flags found a way to keep people thinking about their mascot at times other than just watching the commercials. People discuss the character, and ultimately, the theme park increases its visibility and public awareness. It's a good advertising scheme.

Me? I think Larry "Bud" Melman lost considerable weight and finally revealed his hidden passion for dancing to the Vengaboys.

So, to usher in the new year, let us wave "good-bye" back to Mr. Six as he leaves the general public consciousness, and welcome, if we can, a "Clean, Safe, Fun" Six Flags into the hole in our hearts he leaves behind.