Mysteries of the Universe, Part Six

We interrupt the regularly scheduled Mystery for this special (or perhaps specious is the correct term) breaking urgent announcement news...thing...that has me pulling out my hair and asking, "Why, why?" In this case, it's "Why the crap are they making this movie?"

I was over at Cartoon Brew today and saw a link for the trailer to the new Garfield movie that's soon coming out. That's right, folks, Garfield's A Tale of Two Kitties will be hitting theaters everywhere this June. It will be hitting them, and then hitting them some more, and then grinding its heels into their feet, bludgeoning them with crowbars, stabbing them multiple times in their chest, poking them in the eyes a la the Three Stooges, and maybe even coughing up some hairballs in their shoes.

Y'know...maybe I shouldn't act as if the first Garfield movie was outright horrible. I mean, I didn't see it, but then again, that should tell you something in itself. I'm a Garfield fan, even if only casually. It's one of the few comic strips I can pretty much always rely on for a laugh. Sometimes Jim Davis is off, but when he's on, he's on, if you know what I mean. My favorites are usually the ones with Jon Arbuckle's character. I watched the cartoon (written by Mark Evanier, whom I've mentioned before) pretty much religiously as a child. I've probably seen every episode, even the prime-time specials. I'm sure I have Garfield Goes to Hollywood somewhere on tape. I have both sets of McDonald's toys, and a talking doll from the early, early 80s. Door hangers, cereal premiums, stencils, okay? Garfield was an integral part of my childhood, and I treasure him greatly. How could I not go see the Garfield movie? A few reasons. One, Garfield's voice will always be that of Lorenzo Music's, the guy who voiced him on the cartoon. I'm sure Bill Murray probably did an okay job, but I haven't held any respect for him since he refused to do a Ghostbusters 3. But the main reason is that I could tell that the movie was going to SUCK OUT OF CONTROL just by watching the trailer.

You know, most of the time I don't like being proven wrong just because it hurts my ego. But it's even worse in this case, because I would have sworn up and down there couldn't have been anything worse to do to my beloved childhood icon than the first Garfield movie. Thanks for setting me straight on that one, 20th Century Fox. You can view that trailer here, but why, why, why would you want to?