Loose ends

I am reminded somewhat of the end of the poem Hollow Men by T.S. Eliot:

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper

Today was my last day of work at the Berry College Memorial Library. It wasn't spectacular. I had nothing much to do. In fact, I got one question total at the reference desk, and the answer was to direct the person to our circulation desk. I made an unplanned run to Wendy's for food for one of my supervised, lest she eat the sub-par fare from the downstairs vending machine. I got chicken nuggets and fries for myself. I roped said worker and another off-duty worker into helping me with a crossword puzzle, which we still didn't finish. I found out from the off-duty worker that the other worker had a "World's Longest Crossword Puzzle Book". I told her that I planned to buy the book and finish it before her. I had a get-together with a completely different worker and a guy who comes into the library occasionally to talk at length. It sounds somewhat boring, but I think it was a good evening.

As always, there are things I wish I had dared to do, but didn't. There are some things I now realize I want from my life, and others I realize I will refuse to put up with again. Speaking of, this seems to be a good time for some self-inventory. I'm a bit scared of the idea of finally being out on my own, for good. My life in continually more in my hands, but that has never been as real as it is now. I think it hits most in things like having to pay health insurance and find a place to live. I was shocked to find that a gift card for K-Mart I received weeks ago has still not been spent because I haven't thought of anything really worthwhile or necessary to buy. A year ago, it would have been turned into a CD or a DVD or something even less useful in short order. And I feel a little bit alone as well. I mean, I'm planning the first half of this summer around getting to visit old friends. And this fall, when I start graduate school, I will hopefully be living with a good friend of mine from college. But my closest friend moved to California nearly a month ago and then will move to Alaska indefinitely next month. I really wish I had a girlfriend. Now, that sounds like a real loser-type remark, but I mean it in this way: I realize a little more clearly my need for companionship. I would like to have someone there to lift me up when I am down, to encourage me to outdo my perceptions of who I am and what I can accomplish, to know me, and I long to be available to someone who desires the same things. Many times, I believe, we all just need someone to listen to us (hence, blogs, right?). And I'm glad that I can see some of what I want in a relationship, and what type of person I would want to pursue. For instance, I was surprised to find myself highly attracted to a girl I worked with this past year almost solely because of her intelligence (which, of course, manifested itself through conversation, wit, etc.). Many people I know have lists of what they look for in a potential significant other. I don't hold much stock with that idea, because I believe that if you keep your sights too narrow, you may miss out on wonderful qualities in a person you had no idea existed or could delight you so. But if I were to compile a list, the ability to make me laugh would be pretty high up on it. Or, I might say, to make the kind of joke with a large amount of deep thought behind it which can be fully appreciated and enjoyed without guffaws and knee-slapping.

So, that's enough introspection. Get out of my head already, you. Most of the buildings on the Berry College campus are named after somebody. Usually, I'll wager, somebodies who donated lots of moolah to the school. Except for the newest buildings on campus, the Memorial Library isn't named after anyone. It's a memorial--but to whom? I finally decided that, even if only ever in my own mind, it would be the Jimmy Luther Memorial Library. Jimmy Luther is a memorial-name amalgam I created one night while driving through the outskirts of Atlanta and seeing so many Jimmy Carter and Martin Luther King, Jr. memorial highways and offramps and parks and bus stops and gas station restroom keys and all.

So to end this post, I leave you with the entire photograph from which my previous blog profile picture came. It was taken about six years ago during a high school marching band trip to the Bahamas by cruise boat. It was the first night on the water, and they had people dressed up like pirates outside each exit of the dining room. I remember our waiter was from Croatia. I am eternally thankful that they did not ask that we pay for these photographs.

My friend the Art Major

My friend and former co-worker Lora Hall will be graduating this Saturday. She was an art major. Her senior thesis art project involved a series of paintings of Buzz and Lora. Here's a sample entitled "The day we discovered October":


The paintings chronicle "A Day in the Life" of Buzz and Lora on the moon. They wake up, eat breakfast, pick flowers, get the mail, and other daily things. I saw the opening night of the exhibit last Monday. It was interesting to see the thought put behind the works. Lora also made cloth dolls of Buzz and Lora, with images printed on the front through silkscreen. I bought a pair of the dolls from her for $20 (an awesome deal, given that she was asking $60 a pair from the general public). I decided to make my own rendition of Buzz and Lora on the moon as a graduation present for Lora. Here it is:



I'm happy with it, for the most part--it's the first time I've tried something other than the typical 3/4 just standing there pose I do with most people I draw. I mean, I've got two action poses here, and one of them is from the back! I'd like to think I'm improving. I hope to post shots of the dolls soon.

*Knocknocknocknocknock*

Oh, that's someone at the door! Let's go see who it is, okay?



AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGHHHHH! *SLAM!*

Won't be fooled again

Let me introduce you now to someone who definitely is not my friend. His name is George W. Bush. I don't have any drawings of him. I try to draw characters who display some level of intelligence, like Wendell the Worm, below. But I will link you to an article about him which is in the current issue of Rolling Stone magazine. It's not a very kind article, but I think that's only because it has the balls to tell you what's going on.

I've recently been listening to the Forrest Gump soundtrack, which has me thinking about the decades portrayed in the movie. I realize that, when looking at the past, we can often have some pretty strong misconceptions. I don't know if this is one, and I know I'm speaking without a lot of specific knowledge about things, but here goes. Back in the 1960s, it seems like people were able to come together and change things that were going wrong. First of all, you've got the Civil Rights movement, with protests, marches, sit-ins, rallies, and speeches, which ultimately gained African Americans official equality. Then, during the Vietnam War, there were tons of protests and marches, not only against the war, but against the way the draft was set up. And I have to wonder if all that didn't have some impact on the war. I'm pretty sure it had some impact on our country's conscription policies, though I'm not exactly sure how. I still disagree with the way the Selective Service is designed. When I turned 18, I got a card in the mail saying I had to sign a card saying, pretty much, that I would help out with the war effort if the United States decided to draft me. If I didn't sign the card and send it back, I would be fined something insane (I think the amount was $250,000, somebody correct me if that's wrong). I wasn't exactly ready to be sent to jail for my opposition, both to the idea of war, and to the Selective Service, so my signing of that card was one of the few times that I can pinpoint where I do not plan on keeping my word.

Anyway, I've gotten a bit off track. What I'm wondering about is why we seem to be unable these days to join together and impact the course of events. When I read articles like the one above about George W. Bush, I can't help but think that other people are reading the same stuff, and nothing is changing. Bush is not being impeached, probably won't be, he's getting away with all sorts of nasty crap, blatantly ignoring legislation from Congress, destroying the checks and balances system, and all sorts of other crap that I could go on and on about, but the article does a more concise job. But why is he not facing any consequences for what he's doing? I can only trust that, as my Bible says, those who practice evil will face retribution at the judgment, and that God doesn't make any exceptions for people in high places, especially not proud ones like Bush. But in the meantime, how can we work together to put a stop to ignorant powermongers like Bush and Cheney, corruption in goverment, and ultimately war itself? I'd like to think that Christianity has the answer--reaching people individually to make a change in their own lives, to stop each person's own corruption, but you can't convert a bad government. Especially not one that already claims to be Christian. What can we do to demand that we won't put up with a government that gives bombs and death to people rather than food, that sells off national forestland to pay for its debts, that puts incompetent people in important offices? Is it my fault for not being more active?

I guess the question I'd like to ask of any Christians reading my blog is this: Would we rather have a president who claims to take guidance from a "higher father", panders to the religious right in his policies and promises, never admits his mistakes, puts his friends in offices they're not cut out for, gives himself power(s) that the original founding fathers never wanted him to have, takes us to wars we don't want, ignores the wars we want fought, and can't even say nuclear correctly? Or would we rather have someone who, even though he/she were a staunch atheist, was committed to being a humble leader who would listen to criticism, change his strategies and policies when the situation demanded it, listen to his people, do everything he could with the power he had, but not overstep those bounds, increase efforts to bring peace to other countries, pursue alternative fuel sources so that we don't go to war with Middle Eastern states to get their oil, care about the environment, let our farmers farm again to provide food for those who needed it, not be buddy-buddy with corporations and rich people, and *gasp* actually be a good moral example for his country? I ask you--which of these is more in line with how Jesus taught people that they should be? I think it would do us some good to look to the parable of the good Samaritan.

Gurghx

Lemme introduce you to another of my friends. His name is Wendell. Wendell the Worm. You might remember him from Valentine's Day earlier this year. I've been tossing around ideas for cartoons and comic strips and such in my head for a couple of years with not too much to show for it. I eventually want to do a cartoon revolving around two college roommates who get into a variety of wacky situations and life lessons, etc., etc. I had the idea that one of them needed some pet of unidentifiable species that eats everything. My initial sketches were a bit too Cheat-like (of Homestar Runner fame). He was just a squat little big bellied purple monster with an underbite and black hair. He's mostly that now, but he's got a tail, probably because I could never decide how the feet should look. Up above is the first picture I ever did of him in Flash. It's not new to me--I did this at least two and a half months ago. But I figured you might like to see it--but do you even exist? Does anyone read this blog? I'm trying to keep it updated with stuff to encourage viewers to come back, but is it working? Is this thing interesting at all?

Anyway, I want Wendell to make noises like the Monsters in Marc Hansen comics. It always cracks me up.

You'll be sorrrreeeeee!

I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine. His name is Ted. Ted originated this past summer while I was working in Denali, Alaska. Here's the story.

My friend Kevin and I were going to be renting a car for a day to drive up to Fairbanks for a shopping trip. We ended up renting a car from a woman in a town called Cantwell, twenty miles south of where we worked. But since we were right outside a national park, there was a company that rented cars to drive into the park. The only problem was, there was a limited amount of time for the rental, say 6 hours or something like that. Enough time to have a good, relatively un-planned day in the national park, but not quite enough to drive the 2 hours to Fairbanks and back and not feel rushed while there. And anyway, you were only allowed to drive those cars into the park. We considered the possibility of renting one of those park-only cars and just driving it to Fairbanks anyway--they'd never know, right? I think it was Kevin who came up with the scenario of, once we got to Fairbanks, a midget pops out of the trunk wearing a helicopter backpack, saying "Aha! I caught youse! I'm telling!" Then as he flies off, you hear him calling "You'll be sorrreeeeee!"

So there's Ted, with my initial sketch and the Flash version. I am much pleased with the way this turned out, and I do plan for Ted to make it into a cartoon one day. Click picture for better detail.

Aha! Affirmation!

You see, it's this kind of stuff that convinces me that it's cool to be a librarian:
Firesign Theatre performs at Library of Congress

If...

If I were president, I would keep the flags at half-mast year 'round, because Americans (as well as people from other countries) die every day, and Larry Laborer is equal in my eyes to Peter Politician, who deserves no more respect than Sally Single Mom, who's no better (or worse) than Harriet Human Rights Activist.

Who am I?

Reserved Inventor

Normally I detest these types of quizzes and generally stay away from them. But I saw the link to it on a friend's blog and figured I'd spend the ten minutes doing it. It's one of those tests where you answer questions about yourself, and then it tells you the same things about you that you just told it, only in different enough words to say "Wow! How'd they figure out this stuff about me?" If you wanna do it, knock yourself out. And by that, I literally mean to take your mouse or keyboard and hit yourself on the head repeatedly until you become unconscious.

Next time, Gadget, next time.

I'd like to reiterate a couple of things I've mentioned before on this blog. Some of you may remember my posts a couple of months ago about Six Flags mascot Mr. Six and the ultimate discovery of his identity. And more recently I pointed out that the Jack in the Box guy is pretty ghoulish himself. To a lesser extent the Burger King is sorta scary as well, but he's too hip and cartoony for it to really matter. The similarity here is people whose identities are hidden--cases where we don't know what the face behind the mask looks like at all. As I pointed out with Mr. Six, the mystery of a mask piques our curiosity and interest. The character becomes popular if for no other reason than that we have expended more mental energy on it thinking of what could be behind the mask. But the mystery inherent in masks often creates a sense of fear in audiences. We like knowing about things because it gives us a feeling of control over them. But when we face a masked character, it's an unknown, a wild card. We can't predict what they'll do. A masked face is a dreadfully impersonal, inhuman face, one capable of all sorts of dastardly deeds. That's why Darth Vader was such a popular and effective villain.

The problem inherent with masked characters is the natural urge to look behind the mask. And in many cases, it is revealed eventually what face is hiding back there. Unfortunately, that can often be the single most effective way to spoil a character. In the case of Darth Vader, I think Lucas pulled it off very well in Return of the Jedi. You realize very quickly that Vader is only being kept alive by the machine part of his person, and it is really no surprise when we see the pale, sickly countenance of Anakin Skywaler for the first time. Plus, it was necessary in this case for Luke to see his father's face and realize fully how weak a move it is to give in to the dark side of the Force. Then Lucas managed to add another aspect to the Darth Vader story by telling how he got that way. Darth Vader is one of the strongest pop culture images for the past couple of generations, and it is impossible for his metallic skeletal face overshadowing even the precocious child Anakin. And Revenge of the Sith did a wonderful job giving you the seemingly inevitable course of events that led to Anakin's downfall and transformation into Vader.

Another successful un-masking occurs in V for Vendetta. Now, I haven't seen the movie, but I read the graphic novel last week. V (the masked character you see on the posters) is a proponent of anarchy in post-nuclear late-1990's fascist London who trains a directionless young girl to be his symbolic heir in leading the people of London towards governing themselves. The story manages to relate to you his entire person except for his face or name. You get his past, his feelings, his purpose--and really, isn't that all you need to know? No, we want more, we want to connect with him. What is his name, what does he look like? So, of course, there must be some un-masking in the end, right? Yes and no. The girl discovers in the end that she must be behind the mask after V's death, further emphasizing the point that the views V espoused were far greater than any one person. That's a really good twist--it doesn't give us what we want, but it reminds us that we don't need to bother wanting it--aren't we already satisfied?

However, there are times when revealing what's behind the mask lessens the character. As I've mentioned before, the revelation of who Mr. Six is was sort of unimpressive. Danny Teeson, so what? I don't even know who that is or care. Mr. Six is cool as Mr. Six. But, so far as I can tell, the absolute biggest let-down was when the action figure for Dr. Claw (from Inspector Gadget) came out. You know, I remember seeing it on the pegs at K-Mart back about 14 years ago, but I didn't pester my mom to buy it for me. At least the packaging covered up his face so you'd have to buy it to find out. But I've since found it online, and trust me, Dr. Claw was way more cool and evil when he was just a couple of arms and the occasional leg. In my mind as a kid, all he was was just a couple of disembodied arms in a chair. Just arms would be scary. If two arms attack you, what do you do? There's no person there to control the arms, thus no person to punch in the gut, kick in the crotch, or hit their head to knock them out and stop the arms. And Dr. Claw's arms were covered in metal, so you can't make them bleed or break them. Unstoppable. Anyway, above is a picture of Dr. Claw unmasked, taken from Progressive Boink. Be disappointed. Be very disappointed.

Currently listening to: The voices in my head

Another thing that scares me, but to a far lesser extent--well, okay, maybe surprises me is the correct term--is that I'm beginning to understand the humor in Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming block, specifically that of the show Aqua Teen Hunger Force.

C'mon, certainly some of you out there have seen this, right? The french fries, the milkshake, and the meatball? Okay, good, we're on the same page.

Every night, I get off of work at midnight. It's usually 12:15 before I actually get the library closed up, and then I go running for about a half hour. I usually get home around 1:30 or so. Up until a couple of weeks ago, I was working on my cartoon whenever I got the chance. Now that that's done, I've been watching a ton of television and surfing a ton of web, quite a feat when you take into consideration that neither of these media have actual weight. All this media is not healthy for me. I should be reading books.

But, because of this, I've seen a considerable amount of really dumb programming that somehow made it onto television. Nick at Nite is the only thing worth watching before 2:00, so I get my dose of Roseanne, which comes on right after Fresh Prince of Bel Air. The fact that Fresh Prince is on Nick at Nite makes me feel really old now. Anyway. Then I watch Futurama, a thoroughly funny show that I missed years ago when I gave up television watching for a while. After that, it's either Robot Chicken or Aqua Teens, depending on the night. I detest Robot Chicken--it's a stupid, stupid show using up the dregs at the bottom of the cup from which Family Guy once sipped. But Aqua Teen Hunger Force is a 15-minute long show that is very, very hard to follow.

That is, unless you watch a lot of it. It's a well drawn show with lots (lots!) of comic book influence, and while, as with most television, there is a certain level of...let's call it unwholesomeness...about the show, I'm beginning to appreciate the way the show is set up. This program is DENSE. They pack a whole 30-minute episode into half that time. There are jokes coming at you in a non-continuous pattern, non-sequiturs, background details, and very fast dialogue. Part of the problem is that half of the characters don't seem to have any attention span at all, so the dialogue goes all over the place. It's only at this point that I've come to appreciate that this is fully intentional for a specific effect. I'm still divided over whether I think that it's a good set-up for a show, because I'm beginning to recognize the importance of timing and pace in cartoons. But I appreciate that the guys who do this are able to fit so much humor into fifteen minutes. It's like Firesign Theatre for my eyes.

Anyway, I think the point I'm trying to make here is that I am feeling sick and bloated with internet and television culture. I went to the Waldenbooks store in our local mall today because they're having a closeout sale. For twenty-two bucks, I got a hardback copy of half of the Oz stories, and paperback versions of Maniac Magee (by Jerry Spinelli) and The Chosen (by Chaim Potok). The Chosen is really good so far. Jewish people and culture interests me, and I'd like to know more. It makes me upset to know that there has been so much anti-Semitism within the Christian faith throughout the centuries. As far as I can read it (and I'd like to think I have a good level of reading comprehension), the Bible says not to be hatin' on the Jews, the logic being, if God chose them as his people and chastised them so harshly throughout history, even to the point of retracting his presence from among them, why do we (as Christians) think that we're completely secure? The parable used was that of a plant and its branches, the Jews being the original branches, and Christians being branches that were grafted on. If God cut off the original branches from the vine, do we really think that he can't cut off the branches that weren't there to begin with? I suspect that there's probably a lot that Christians can learn from Jews as far as matters pertaining to God and religious life go--I mean, they had a relationship with him a lot longer than Christians have had, and I'm guessing that there's probably some degree of cultural memory there, too. I've been having a lot of really interesting conversations with a Jewish girl who works at the library--well, okay, mostly I'm listening, because she's such a wonderful person to listen to, so very intelligent and well-spoken, which I find amazingly attractive--ahem--and it's just so fascinating to learn about Jewish life.

Seriously, this book (The Chosen) is making me fall in love with reading again. I'm sad that I'll be through with it so soon. But hey! I've got tons of unread books at home. I'm set for a while here. And even though my copy of the Oz books doesn't have pictures, I can use my imagination and draw some. So, hey, this isn't a promise or anything, but if I do, I'll show them to you right here. So stay tuned.

Ciabattaaaarrrrggghhhhh

I don't know about you guys, but the Jack in the Box guy freaks me out. Not in the sense that I'm actually scared of him, oh no. But seriously, if this guy approached you, even in broad daylight, wouldn't it be a little weird? I'm convinced that the whole suit-and-tie get-up is just a sham--like the round head, it's all just a cover-up for the hideous, unspeakable monster beneath. The voice you hear on the commercials has to be dubbed in post-shooting. The only voice that I can imagine coming from behind that pristine sphere would sound like an open mausoleum as the hushed screams of a million tortured souls rushed past your ears. This guy doesn't want to take your order folks, he wants to take your soul.

Beware the Ciabatta.

Um...

Here's a few thoughts I found floating around inside my head today. I thought you might like to read them.

I received in the mail today my copy of the Garbage Pail Kids cartoon series on a 2-disc DVD set. Perhaps I should have taken it as a foreshadowing of things to come when, after I wrestled my way through the two layers of plastic and sticker protection, I saw the sloppy disc art inside. It's hard to describe, but suffice it to say that somebody over at the DVD production people for CBS doesn't at all have an eye for what discs should look like. Aside from that, there was no booklet. I dunno, maybe an episode guide would have been in order? I have watched two episodes so far. At worst, I figured this cartoon series would have been typical of the cartoons I watched as a child. I missed the He-Man and Transformers and Thundercats stuff by a few years, so I grew up with Police Academy, the Real Ghostbusters, Beany and Cecil, Garfield & Friends, the Addams Family, and to a lesser extent Alvin & the Chipmunks, in addition to older Warner Bros., Hanna-Barbera, and Walter Lantz cartoons, which still were always on television somewhere. And as this cartoon was slated to come out in about 1987/88 or so, I figured it would be somewhere in the range of the new shows on the air back then. What I was really hoping for, at best, was something along the lines of some good old Ruby-Spears animation.

Gosh, I don't even know where to start, I have so many things to say about this cartoon. First of all the theme song is just some guy singing "Oh-oh-oh-oh, nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh, nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh". The show is broken up into your typical two ten-minute segments, the first with random characters, the second with the main "Kids" of the show, with some other shorts in between. I think my main complaint is the writing of the show. First of all, there's nothing funny in the show at all. The plots are shoddy, nor does one scene flow into another very well. I wish I had a better website so I could go through one particular episode and explain what I'm talking about here, but suffice it to say that my little brother could have done a better job coming up with a storyline for the show. And you can tell that whoever was writing the show actually tried to throw some jokes in there--mostly visual stuff that was happening sort of anti-climactically, at the end of a scene, by a minor character, which is not where your attention wants to be drawn, unless it's very, very funny. Aside from that, the artwork and animation of the show was really sub-par, even worse than many of the stiff, flat shows I watched as a child. The lip-syncing only works about 95% percent of the time--sure, you say, that's a lot, but you notice the 5%. Or at least I do.

Am I being nitpicky here? Do I really have a good vantage point from which to criticize? I mean, come on, the cartoon I did was crappy at best. Pretty dang good for my abilities and the time I spent, but that's only because my drawing ability isn't completely crap. While my drawing and animation abilities are still far below that of the people who had to paint every frame of the Garbage Pail Kids cartoon, I'd like to think I know a little bit of what makes good cartoons, even if only second-hand. You see, I've been reading John Kricfalusi's blog lately. John K., in case you don't already know, is the creator of Ren & Stimpy. Yes, Ren & Stimpy in the early 90's was pretty raunchy (though, believe me, heavily watered down by network execs), and the newer episodes on Spike are even worse (from what I hear; I haven't watched them). But doggone it, that's some sweet artwork. John K.'s secret is that he looks to early cartoons for his work. I'm beginning to get the impression that the early animators knew a lot more about cartooning than people nowadays. You'd think it would be the other way around, right? Techniques would get handed down and improved upon, new styles would emerge, and innovation would abound, right? Decades down the road, we should have the best cartoons ever made, right? *Ahem*. May I direct you once more to the Garfield 2 trailer below? Sure, CG is great visually, but look at the content.

And again, the Garbage Pail Kids cartoon. I've heard John K. complain alot about the flat, lifeless characters in most cartoons in the past twenty or thirty years. Compared to the stuff his Spumco people put out, he's totally right. The GPK 'toon looks obviously like it was produced solely to milk a little more money out of the Garbage Pail Kids craze. There was no great single idea pushing the show, or wish to make it any better than any other show on air then. No, they just wanted to sell some more toys. There was lots of protest against the show getting on TV before it was to air--in fact, it got pulled from CBS's Saturday Morning line-up almost right before it aired. But, you know, I think letting the show air would have done more to kill interest in GPK than anything else. I hate to say this, but it will be a little bit of a struggle to watch the other 11 episodes.

Speaking of John K., though, looking at the artwork on his website really sobers me up as an artist. Man, do I ever suck at drawing. I don't draw nearly enough. I should be drawing every chance I get, trying out new looks and poses and directions to take my art. Maybe some day I'll get good at it. Until then, I'll just try to make more flat, crappy cartoons with Flash and hope that maybe the hilarious jokes will make up for it.

Geez, what a rambling, unorganized post that was. Sorry to make you suffer through that. I just had to get my thoughts all out, irrelevant though they may have been. I have other thoughts, too, but perhaps that's enough for one night? Thanks, whoever's reading this (which, at this point, may be nobody at all, I dunno).

Today

One year of blogging. Woo.

Mysteries of the Universe, Part Six

We interrupt the regularly scheduled Mystery for this special (or perhaps specious is the correct term) breaking urgent announcement news...thing...that has me pulling out my hair and asking, "Why, why?" In this case, it's "Why the crap are they making this movie?"

I was over at Cartoon Brew today and saw a link for the trailer to the new Garfield movie that's soon coming out. That's right, folks, Garfield's A Tale of Two Kitties will be hitting theaters everywhere this June. It will be hitting them, and then hitting them some more, and then grinding its heels into their feet, bludgeoning them with crowbars, stabbing them multiple times in their chest, poking them in the eyes a la the Three Stooges, and maybe even coughing up some hairballs in their shoes.

Y'know...maybe I shouldn't act as if the first Garfield movie was outright horrible. I mean, I didn't see it, but then again, that should tell you something in itself. I'm a Garfield fan, even if only casually. It's one of the few comic strips I can pretty much always rely on for a laugh. Sometimes Jim Davis is off, but when he's on, he's on, if you know what I mean. My favorites are usually the ones with Jon Arbuckle's character. I watched the cartoon (written by Mark Evanier, whom I've mentioned before) pretty much religiously as a child. I've probably seen every episode, even the prime-time specials. I'm sure I have Garfield Goes to Hollywood somewhere on tape. I have both sets of McDonald's toys, and a talking doll from the early, early 80s. Door hangers, cereal premiums, stencils, okay? Garfield was an integral part of my childhood, and I treasure him greatly. How could I not go see the Garfield movie? A few reasons. One, Garfield's voice will always be that of Lorenzo Music's, the guy who voiced him on the cartoon. I'm sure Bill Murray probably did an okay job, but I haven't held any respect for him since he refused to do a Ghostbusters 3. But the main reason is that I could tell that the movie was going to SUCK OUT OF CONTROL just by watching the trailer.

You know, most of the time I don't like being proven wrong just because it hurts my ego. But it's even worse in this case, because I would have sworn up and down there couldn't have been anything worse to do to my beloved childhood icon than the first Garfield movie. Thanks for setting me straight on that one, 20th Century Fox. You can view that trailer here, but why, why, why would you want to?

Follow-up

As a small follow-up to last time's post, it looks like I will be getting that job with the Concordia Language Villages. Let's hope my German language ability decides to come with me. Look soon for this month's installment of MotU.